This article isn't really made for actors. This is for sharing with our non-actor partners in crime.
Have you ever heard the saying that every relationship has a gardner and a flower? If you haven't before, it's pretty simple. One person requires a little more tending to then the other. The flower maybe needs a little more attention or communication, whereas the gardner is the care-taker, they get their energy from nurturing the flower.
Of course nothing is 100%, obviously there is always give and take and things change and grow.
But I can tell you without a damn doubt: I am a mother fuckin flower.
And I require some gardening.
I would bet that a vast majority of actors are the flower of their relationships. Even if they don't know it.
Let's get real, our shit is a constant mess of changing schedules, emotional roller coasters, financial flimsy, and the basis of a low level personality disorder at best.
(If that isn't a Bumble by-line I don't know what is)
Anyway, I thought maybe we could all gain something from the advice of those doing the gardening: the non-actor side of successful relationships.
PS: My personal partner in crime (pictured below with our fur babies) will be in a later edition, never fear. You'll get my hot-mess gossip shortly.
Name:
Kevin
Relationship status to actor:
Dating for 2.5 years
What is it like dating an actor:
Dating an actor is certainly an exciting experience -- although it can have its difficulties. I really enjoy helping my partner prep for auditions and days on set. Running lines with Sarah is a great way for us to spend time together, especially when she is attempting to juggle spending time with me and her obligations to acting. One notable challenge is the unpredictable nature of an actor's schedule. When Sarah books a job, it often requires totally reworking her entire schedule, sometimes for months at a time; this can make scheduling difficult, especially for vacations or events where advanced planning is required.
If you could give someone a tip for dating a working actor, what would it be?
1. Help your partner maintain a positive attitude. Actors go through essentially countless auditions, and it can be difficult for them to face the often silent-rejection of the casting office multiple times per week. Identify coping mechanisms that work for your partner, and encourage them to use these coping mechanisms when times get tough.
2. Get involved. Be a resource for your partner. I have actually zero acting experience -- I have never been in a play, nor have I even attempted to audition for a play -- but Sarah still values my perspective and input on auditions and scripts. Coming from outside of the acting world means that I am able to bring a fresh set of eyes onto script, which can give Sarah a new perspective on a scene or a character.
Name:
Trey Bourgeios
Relationship status to actor:
Married
If you could give someone a tip for dating a working actor, what would it be?
1. Always have a listening ear when your significant other has big ideas and let them express themselves. There's no need to shut them down or express negativity. Listen first, then give loving support.
2. Even if it conflicts with previous plans, be happy for them when an audition or a job comes up.
3. Always be encouraging and have people to support you while you are supporting your actor! You'll need friends and/or family around you when your significant other is working for long hours or multiple days.
Name:
AJ Justad
Relationship status to actor:
Married 4 years (dated for 7 before we got married)
What is it like dating an actor:
-Married to an actor is like “living in 24/7 drama”
-Enhances the TV/Movie watching experience, as she’s always dissecting and analyzing the work.
-Award season has replaced the Super Bowl in our house. More fun hosting Oscar parties and having her actor friends over, hearing their commentary throughout the shows. We have made new traditions filling out ballots for Awards shows (maybe one day I’ll be picking her name on one of the ballots) :) haha
If you could give someone a tip for dating a working actor, what would it be?
-Always be supportive.
-Know this is their dream, and offer to help with whatever I can, whether its driving to an audition or class so that she can focus on doing her best work or just being a sounding board/listening ear.
Oh, and Up your picture taking skills :)
Name: Reni
Relationship status to actor:
Dating for 10 months
What is it like dating an actor:
Dating an actor is an adventure. Actors are creators, storytellers, beautiful, and passionate people. My girlfriend keeps me on my toes - she is insanely intuitive and picks up on everything. She's a walking lie detector and cannot stand bullshit, I love it.
If you could give someone a tip for dating a working actor, what would it be?
Treat acting as not only an art form, but also as a really difficult and demanding career. Actors are not simply pretty, emotional people who want to be famous. Rather, they are workaholics with serious drive and are to be taken very seriously. The most important thing you can do for your actor-boo is to be their biggest fan!
Don't worry, there is more where that came from. Part 2 is already in the works, keep an eye out! And if you have a significant other who you think would contribute, comment below and I'll reach out! We need as much help and validation as humanly possible...we're actors after all.